digitlikeahole

When life gets shitty, online shop!

2008-11-15T04:48:30Z

Pulled a muscle in my groin (twice) and can't even finish the season. Regional Championships are tomorrow and instead of being there, I'll be on campus doing nothing (or even worse, doing homework). How do I bring myself out of this state of depression? Shop online. Am I pathetic? Yes.

I'll talk about Obama when I'm not so depressed. I don't even want to think about how much money I've spent in the past week. I justify all of these ridiculous purchases because I'm not going to San Diego.

Robert (Holmes) Pooley, I love you

2008-11-04T18:22:04Z

but Baldwin, whose character is a devoted republican, is having an affair with CC, a democratic senator from Vermont
11:09 PM
and there's a great exchange:
C.C.: I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her Universal Health care platform. Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.
and there's definitely some conservative girls where that's true for me
11:10 PM
these girls who are attractive and otherwise cool
but then they talk about politics.. and not only do they not know what they're talking about, but they generally oppose everything i approve
11:11 PM
i dont know why my IM is formatting like this now
11:16 PM
one thing i hate about states rights is when it comes to voting
11:18 PM
thats very poorly phrased
but whatever, you get it
there should a uniform system that all states use
PERIOD
"wyoming uses its method.. its a major part of its identity"
no
its fucking stupid
not wyoming necessarily
but if you want your state to be recognized because you have a quirky way of voting then you are fucked in the head
11:19 PM
do what gets the job done
agree on it
its fucking crazy
the election will not be done tomorrow
and thats absurd
1) higher voter turnout.. and 2) highly probable fuck-ups
11:20 PM
both could be avoided with a more efficient system
i really dont know what is preventing a uniform system from being implemented, but i've been told it relates directly to states rights
i hope thats not true
and that you can tell me its not
because its fucking crazy
11:21 PM
in MA you use a certain pen and fill in the circle next to the name of the candidate
if there's a better system, then go for it
but some states are fucking crazy
and should adopt something more simple
Ohio and Florida cant possibly like being known as the states that fuck up all the time
11:22 PM
it amazes me how hard it is to conduct an overhaul of the system
use paper.. and basically use a scantron type sheet
11:23 PM
(thats more or less what we use, i think)
if someone cant fill in the circle completely then they dont deserve to have their vote counted
they'll never know anyway
dont bog down the system because some asshole -- who struggled to get his pants on in the morning -- couldnt fill in a bubble
11:26 PM
its obviously not the fault of the voter
i mean, it isnt in general
it typically appears to be the system
pencil and paper... schools have used scantron for fucking decades
11:27 PM
how often do you hear kids freaking out
because their SAT scores were fucked up
College Board can do something the US government can't.. it's fucking insane

eve of the election

2008-11-04T00:29:24Z

I'm fairly confident that Obama is going to win but if not, I plan on spending the next 4 years hammered. But really, I'm fucking nervous. I'll be spending the majority of my day tomorrow down at the polls biting my fingernails.

In running news, I pulled a muscle in my groin. It's actually really bad... my inner right thigh and the start of my right hip are all bruised and swollen. I woke up today and felt much better and can actually walk without pain/a pronounced limp, so things may be looking up. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to run @ the regional meet in 2 weeks.

Halloween is over. I did nothing. Sad.

New albums that I think are solid but have no time to talk about: Intimacy by Bloc Party, Loyalty to Loyalty by Cold War Kids, Only by the Night by Kings of Leon, and Dear Science by TV on the Radio (although I'm disappointed about the lack of live drums).

the second debate: town hall meeting

2008-10-08T02:58:01Z

Just a few of my favorite things:

Obama: " I've got to correct a little bit of McCain's history....not surprisingly."

McCain: "when Obama says ___ or stuff like that.."

Goodies...a very creepy word to keep using over and over again

The hair transplant joke that no one laughed at

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND... this phrase was used 15+ times

McCain must have a shitload of heroes... Reagan, TR, R2D2 (?)... he has the most robotic mannerisms I've ever seen

Did Obama shake Cindy's hand and not John's?

Overall, this debate was pretty fucking boring. A lot of unnecessary rambling from both McCain and Obama. It was way too civil for me. There needed to be more jabs like the "Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran." I thoroughly enjoyed that. Also, the town hall meeting format is just stupid and awkward. And why the hell would they agree to only a 2 minute response and 1 minute rebuttal / question? It obviously wasn't enough time. I would rather have them address less issues but go more into debt on the ones that are discussed.

Ugg boots are Ugg-ly!

2008-10-06T17:09:12Z

Seriously. As of right now, it's at least 55 degrees. I could see how girls could form an argument for wearing Ugg boots in a blizzard but in sunny, classic fall weather? Not necessary. Instead of wearing a pair of ugly, overpriced "genuine sheepskin" boots, do yourself a favor and buy a pair that are both cute and functional:

I just ordered the first pair (Steve Madden) and I'm extremely happy about my decision (the second pair are Miu Miu and something like $700). Especially since I will get to pair them with this adorable peacoat that I'm ordering from Delia*s:

and skinny jeans. Also, I can now say that I've officially cracked open my sweater and scarf boxes (yes, my scarf obsession is so out of control that I now need to store them in a huge, tupperware box). I'll need to make a visit to the SouthSide over break so I can stock up on some more (H&M and Urban Outfitters never disappoint).

I absolutely cannot wait to come home for fall break. As much as I love Allegheny, I need a break. I guess Meadville is uh... quaint, but it doesn't have some essential things that are necessary for my happiness. For example, there isn't a single place within 15-20 minutes of Meadville where I can get a decent pumpkin spice latte. It just isn't fall until I've had at least one of these! Also, places to shop? Completely non-existent. I am not good with shopping online because I tend to go a bit overboard and not realize how much I'm spending. Plus, online shopping just isn't as exciting. Annnnndddd, I miss my mom (and her cooking) and Kurt.

Oh, and go see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist! The music is amazing: Shout Out Louds, Band of Horses, Devendra Banhart, We Are Scientists, Vampire Weekend, etc. Too bad the actual soundtrack sucks. I looked it up on amazon.com and expected it to be awesome, but it's definitely missing most of the best songs. Ahhh well...

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

2008-08-27T18:20:57Z

Seriously, go see it. If you love classic Woody Allen and Scarlett Johansson as much as I do, you won't be disappointed. While you're at it, you probably also want to see Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder. This month has been way decent when it comes to movies.

Classes start tomorrow. Is it pathetic that I'm excited? I get to read Mansfield Park (probably my favorite Jane Austen) for my English class and some really interesting books for 3rd World Politics. I'm ALMOST done with my Ayn Rand essay and I think it's shaping up quite nicely. I tried to pick the easiest question, but after looking them over and brainstorming, I realized that they all sucked the same amount of cock. I honestly don't see how anyone could actually enjoy Atlas Shrugged. It's the most boring piece of shit I've ever read in my life (and I've also tackled East of Eden and Anna Karenina). People who claim to enjoy Ernest Hemmingway are also fucking liars. Even I'm not that dull and pretentious (and I like Kierkegaard!).

However, I am pretentious enough to be severely pissed off that the campus bookstore no longer carry my favorite Moleskine notebooks. At least my room is nice. I'm also on a good floor this year (minus Rachel Faber). How can someone be so small but so fucking loud and annoying? Ah well, c'est la vie.

Nerves.

2008-08-23T22:44:13Z

I don't know why I get so nervous for races. You'd think I would get over it after 8+ years of competitive running, but nope. I am so fucking nervous for this 3k time trial. Why? If I don't run a 12:30 I will look like such a jackass. If I think about this in practical terms, though, there is no reason why I shouldn't make it. I ran 11:59 last year and I started out way too fast AND ate a peanut butter and turkey sandwich for dinner 2-3 hours before. I mean....I ran 11:41 for the 3200 as a high school sophomore. Why the fuck can't I do that anymore? It has to just be a mental thing. It could also have something to do with the fact that I weigh about 15 pounds more than I did in high school. Ugh, I will never get over this. I lost a bit of weight over the summer, so I'm down to 126 but I still have some massive thighs that I don't think are ever going to disappear. Ohhhh well....

My room smells like coffee. I drank 2 cups of coffee @ 4:30-5 and I'm going to drink 1/2 cup at 7 and see if it helps me with the race. I remember Abbott saying that Melissa Sloan did this in high school and that it helped her tremendously. I don't know how much truth is in that, though. I just wish Eby didn't make us do a shitload of dynamic warm-ups at practice yesterday. I haven't done a single dynamic warm-up all summer and so I woke up this morning and felt like I got run over by a truck. The good news is that Rachel & I ran a 6 mile run at 7:40 pace when we thought we were totally dogging it. Seriously....if I feel that shitty and am still running kind of fast, I would think that I'm in OK shape. I just need to believe in my training...something I really need to work on.

Cousin Alan

2008-08-23T02:28:30Z

he was talking about how his mom always said that he should of been her little girl, and he told her "no mom, if I would have been a girl I would have been the biggest slut going and you wouldn't have known how to handle me" Gram was even laughing at that one

^ from my mom on ichat hahaha

Summer needs to be over...

2008-07-06T04:12:31Z

Running has been going way better than I could ever ask for. I had to get 49 miles in this week and I killed my goal (and took one day off for recovery). I feel like such a beast and I'm pretty sure that I have my morning + nightly ab workouts to thank. Granted, I have developed some terrible eating habits. For example, I ran today at 2PM and didn't eat anything until 8PM. And what did I eat? A Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, Nuggets, and Fries + homemade cherry pie with ice cream. Oh, I kid you not...

But really, I'm going to work on that (maybe).

I am definitely ready to go back to school. My classes sound beyond awesome (Professor Seddig, yet again <3) and I am living in a perfect little single by myself. You better believe that there will be an Obama poster bordered by red, white, & blue star lights hanging on my door. You think I'm kidding? I already have all of this shit figured out. Why? Because I am fucking pathetic, of course! I also have already started picking out stuff that I would like for my birthday. It's September 15th...do you think I'm being a bit overzealous? I don't care. Check out my shopstyle page if you want to see my current clothing obsessions.

"when we stumble out at three am she thinks to herself, if i were to die right now -- i will have lived."

You need to buy the new Girl Talk album.

2008-06-22T22:39:07Z

Seriously, it's probably my favorite one thus far. I think my favorite mix-up might be Sexy Can I + Springsteen. Pretty fucking classic...

I had the worst run yesterday afternoon. I started at 1PM and thought that I would be fine because it didn't feel super hot out. WRONG. I parked at the church and ran down Donnellville. After the first mile, I started feeling sluggish and dizzy but I kept going because I had to get a nine mile run in for this week. My plan was to go up to the park, run the first loop and some trails, and go back the same way. By the time I got to the park, I was almost on the verge of passing out. I was really dehydrated and the weather + lack of shade + the uphill grade of the 1st half did not help at all. And of course, the park was crowded because of graduation parties and I had to run all over the place to find a water fountain that wasn't being occupied by snot-faced six year olds filling up water balloons. After pimp daddy shuffling back to the church, I had to go home and get ready for 6 hours of work!! It wouldn't be so bad if I could sit down once in awhile. I know that it sounds like a pussy comment but after a ten mile run, the last thing I want to do is stand for 6 hours in a row.

I really enjoy night runs. I can't wake up early anymore (early is before 11) and I have no social life, so I have been running around 8:30 every night. It's cooler out, people don't bug me, and I always sleep better after a night run. Also, I feel like I'm more conscious of what I eat during the day (although I did just eat Arby's for dinner). Normally, I just feel like it keeps me from snacking unnecessarily.

Alright, time for crunches. Massive amounts so that I don't barf up partially digested chicken sandwich and curly fries on the side of Freeport Road.

Let's make love and listen to death from above.

2008-06-12T04:48:05Z

So, I might get a second job as an assistant library clerk at the Carnegie. Do I feel bad that Jank told me that he was interested in this job and now I am (potentially) stealing it away from him? Ummm, nope! In other news, the friend mentioned in the previous entry made up for being a dbag by bringing me birthday cake ice cream and flowers. I think he was honestly really sorry and I wasn't even that mad in the first place (just ranting) so I of course forgave him.

Atlas Shrugged is pissing me off right now. I respect and admire Ayn Rand's philosophy but I am totally against it. I haven't finished the book (still about 500 pages away) but I'm pretty sure I know the general direction that it is headed. Dagny is a capitalist, Jim is a socialist, Francisco is....a mystery and Rearden is also a possible capitalist. Dagny only does what is right for herself; she never does anything for the sake of another person. Rearden is the same way, but for some reason he continues to allow his family to leech off of him. Francisco is a basic capitalist but instead of having Dagny's neutral stance towards other people, he instead chooses to fuck with them. In public, Jim constantly says that he wants to help out "the little man." He does things to make himself look like a humanitarian when really, he is just being a politician and only cares about what is beneficial for him. SOCIALISTS ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS. Is it completely unrealistic to think that someone wants to do something simply because they care about another person or what's better for the country as a whole? Think about giving blood....I've given blood plenty of times. Even if I am completely honest with myself and really analyze my motives, I know that I have never thought: "I'm only giving blood because people can see me do it and realize that I am a decent, kind person." I have never done it because there is anything in it for me...it doesn't even make me feel better about myself. As a matter of fact, half of the time I absolutely regret giving blood because it makes me feel so shitty on my runs. So what gives, Ayn Ran? Your philosophy isn't fucking flawless and you suck for living your entire life based upon something so abstract and technical.

I plan on making a good bit of money when I'm done with school (hell, 7+ years of school better pay off somehow). Because I work hard for my money, do I believe that I should get to keep it all for myself? No...I live in the United States. I understand that I have to pay taxes to enjoy some of the benefits that my country provides. Does it piss me off that some of my hard-earned money might go to a crack whore on welfare? YES. But I don't believe in Social Darwinism. "Oh, just don't give her any money and she will eventually die. Then all of her kind will all die out and only the strong will survive." How fucking awful is that? Who is going to work at Subway and provide me with my Veggie Subs? But seriously...it wouldn't work. I could go on for hours about this, but I actually think that I'll go read. I doubt that anyone reads this, but if you do and you would like me to explain myself in a more intelligent manner, I'd be happy to do so.

Nobody knows you, and nobody gives a damn.

2008-06-10T05:45:18Z

Thank you, Hillary for finally giving up. IT'S ABOUT TIME. Now if everyone would just start to realize that John McCain is a washed up old hag, we'd be set. Why people want to elect someone who has old, boring, illogical ideas that we know won't work (from experience) into office is beyond me. Did anyone else see that shitty, phony commercial where McCain says that he hates war? What a bunch of bullshit. The campaigning process thus far has just been making me sick (why I've refrained from discussing it on here).

In other news, fuck everyone. Friends (from home, not school) are not worth having. They don't really care about me and a majority of them are lying, deceiving assholes. I would rather spend my Friday nights alone with some Doctorow than with someone who continually fucks me over. And you know, it's what people DON'T do that pisses me off. When you don't tell me things, don't pay attention to me when I'm clearly upset and need someone to talk to, and don't let me be the center of a conversation for once, we're going to eventually have problems. I'm not a hard person to please (that's a lie); I just HATE HATE HATE when I feel like someone is being sneaky and not telling me the whole truth or just blatantly keeping things from me for shady reasons. Since it's summer (and I'm taking a break from being an intense, controlling bitch) I have kept pretty quiet about any problems that I've been having. But just know that I can't keep quiet for long. Eventually, we are going to have a confrontation and it's not going to be pleasant. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. However, I had a great day, so I can't really think of why I would be angry for no reason. I'm pretty sure that these are just my true feelings. This whole paragraph really only applies to one person who doesn't read this, so don't jump to any conclusions (as if I have a vast array of people reading my super cool blog).

Ah well, c'est la vie. I can't really think of anything else to say. I went to the Pirate game today. They won, so that was pretty cool. What isn't cool is my lame ass farmer's tan that I got because I'm a moron and decided to wear a t-shirt for 2-3 hours in the scorching hot sun. Why didn't I take my mom's advice and wear a tank top? Who knows...maybe it's because I don't have any fucking clothes because I HATE everything that's within my price range. I'm pretty sure I bitch about this incessantly...

I am a dirtball.

2008-06-06T16:30:59Z

Is it totally disgusting that I ran last night, passed out before I got a chance to shower, and ran again this morning in the same clothes? Oh, and I STILL have not taken a shower. Why? Too busy thinking about Urban Outfitters. I'm selling a ton of shit on ebay, so I should have some money to blow pretty soon:

In our bodies there are cells shaped like stars.

2008-06-05T22:00:11Z

The Pens lost yesterday, but they fought hard until the last buzzer sounded. I was sad, but proud and confident that we will win the cup next year. It's inevitable and my dad was the one who actually said it from the beginning. We'll see...

In other news, Apple finally came out with their back-to-school promotion: free iPod Touch with the purchase of any Mac. Score! This gives me even more incentive to save my money, sell shit on ebay, etc. I really am in desperate need of a new computer. It's not that this one isn't great, because it is. I've hooked it up with Ubuntu and I love it dearly, but it's getting old and the word processing software isn't the greatest. Also, I really need something that is compatible with Photoshop and has a nice big screen for editing and coloring in my sketches. The free printer is also a perk because the one that I have now is way too huge to keep in my dorm room.

I wish I could find some summer clothes. I absolutely hate everything that is within my price range and when I do end up buying something, I always take it back because I realize that I loathe it. Why can't I just have a couple hundred (or thousand) dollars to blow at J.Crew? My birthday needs to come ASAP because I need things like cardigans, jeans, purses, etc. This is seemingly unrelated, but you know what pisses me off? Hearing people say that they didn't like Sex in the City because the girls are "too materialistic." What the fuck? Did you not watch the show? Did you not previously know about Carrie's obsession with shoes (especially Manolos) and Samantha's love of purses, men, and everything expensive? And anyway, who gives a fuck? It was a lighthearted, easy to follow movie and I don't think that it presented itself as anything more than that. Let it go.

I have to go run soon. Fuck this 85 degree weather and 87% humidity. I am reluctant to run in my sports bra around here because there are so many creepy hicks that beep and whistle at me even though I am severely flat chested and there is absolutely nothing for them to get excited about. I think I actually miss Meadville...

Edit.:. Don't fucking beep at me and scream things like "nice asssssssss" or "wanna fuck?" Don't follow me for a 1/4 mile and try to get me to jump in the car so we can "go back to your place."

(08:55:42 PM) Matt Brush: dont worry i had the same problem today, at least half a dozen fuckers yelled and beeped at me, dont worry theyll die of heart attacks before we even see signs of aging lol

Oh summer, I love you.

2008-05-29T15:14:46Z

I know I said that I wouldn't be writing in here as often, but fuck it. This is where I write about stupid things that happen to me that don't make it into my real journal. First, let's start with how I hate the bitches at the Natrona Heights Post Office. The women at the Meadville Post Office are so nice, friendly, and helpful. The ones at the Natty? Not so much. I brought in packages that I was mailing by parcel post for ebay. I estimated the weight for each package to be 1 pound (they were purses, I really didn't think that they were going to be that heavy). Each package was off by 1-3 ounces and the lady made me take them back home, void the shipping labels I created, and print out new shipping labels with the correct weight. At the Meadville Post Office, they always just put a sticker on my box and had me pay a couple cents extra. The Natty Heights dragon ladies informed me that they were not allowed to do that. BITCHES.

Also, at first I wasn't really a fan but as of now, the new Death Cab for Cutie album is really growing on me. Is it depressing as hell? Yes. But are the lyrics amazing? Of course. It's so hard not to like them. I think that I Will Possess Your Heart is my favorite song on the album. I would like to do a review of each song sometime soon. Did Ben Gibbard just have a break up that I am not aware of? I just listened to You Can Do Better Than Me and thought maybe...

Pens game last night? Amazing...those are the PengWINS that I know and love. I can't believe that last night was the first time I had seen Urik and Phelps in almost a year. Crazy...they haven't changed a bit. I'm not sure if that is good or bad.

Pensssssssss Victory!!

2008-05-29T04:11:59Z

I've been waiting for this for what seems like forever. Oh, and I'm sorry LiveJournal...I found my real journal and have been writing in that pretty frequently. It looks like you are going to be pushed to the back burner. Oh well...

Who is John Galt?

2008-05-25T20:00:21Z

I could really, really go for some homemade french toast right about now. My day (thus far) has gone something like this: wake up at 11:30 to see that my phone is ringing. It's Kurt, so I decide to ignore it (more about that later). However, this stupid phone call has woken me up and I can't fall back asleep even though I really want nothing more than to just sleep the entire day away. Wander into the kitchen, find pizza in the fridge and take a piece of back to my room so I can eat it in bed while browsing ebay auctions. After wasting a solid hour doing that, I read some Atlas Shrugged. Mom comes in and starts talking about how we need to start looking for a new bedspread since we're going to re-paint my room this summer. Swell. So I start browsing pottery barn, ikea, target - basically every place I think might have a sweet looking bedspread. Now it's 3:01 PM and I haven't done a damn thing. But you know what's great? I don't have a damn thing to do! My only obligation for today is a 6-8 mile run that I plan on fitting in before it gets dark. Other than that, I really have nothing to do. I LOVE SUMMER. Every other year I was always sad because it was summer and I never really had much to do (since I hate everyone) but this year, I am loving the feeling of nothingness.

I don't mind working...Helping little old ladies find the perfect pair of adjustable waist Alfred Dunner pants is actually quite entertaining. I also don't mind going out and doing things with friends once in awhile. But sometimes (almost always), I just feel like sitting at home and doing things that I didn't get to do when I was in school. I am overwhelmed with the fact that I can read books (for pleasure, not class) whenever I want! I have so much time to read that it's ridiculous. I can't wait until it gets warm enough for me to spend my entire day laying on the porch swing and reading. I'm pretty sure that I finished the Da Vinci Code (mind you, this was like in 10th grade...I have much better taste now) in a single day because of my awesome, comfortable porch swing.

In other news, my feet are absolutely falling apart. As of now, I am missing a total of 5 toenails. Two of the ones that I still have left are black and blue. Attractive? Not in the least bit. I really need to paint them or do something to prevent the grossed-out stares that I get when I wear sandals (which is very often).

Let's not talk about the Pens loss, please. They looked like they were three steps behind the entire game...it was actually kind of painful to watch. However, I still have hope and keep telling myself that this was their first game against the Red Wings this season and that they are just getting acclimated. They are also a really young team and I'm sure they were nervous as hell (which was quite evident when Fleury fell after taking his first step on the ice). I am just anxious to see how games 2 & 3 play out.

Grey's finale was AMAZING.

2008-05-23T05:36:20Z

Why are people always taking advantage of me? As much as I can be a huge bitch, I really am understanding. I try to see things from different points of view and take into consideration the feelings of others, so why am I constantly getting screwed over? I just want someone to appreciate me and do nice things for me to make my day better. I don't want them to take into consideration the time or the money that it took, but just to do something nice for me without even thinking of what it costs them. Is this such an unrealistic thing to ask? I really don't think so...and the more I think about it, the more that I am realizing that it's NOT WORTH IT. Because things are going to get worse before they get better, and do I really want to stick around and wait for that to happen? Not really...

Sometimes I just feel like I'm all alone because everyone is so fucking selfish. God forbid, someone does something nice for me without thinking about how it affects them first. I'm writing an Ayn Rand essay on Atlas Shrugged (for a scholarship) and am totally realizing that objectivism actually has some valid points. I am really only writing this because I just feel like venting and pretty much everyone that I'm used to venting to has been sucking tremendously and my journal (the real one, not this stupid online blog) is sitting the whole way over on my desk and couldn't easily be written in while laying in bed. It's not like anyone who knows what is going on with me reads this anyway. Hell, no one probably reads this (which is good because I hate all of you and don't want you to know anything about me let alone personal things that I wouldn't even tell people that I actually like).

I'm not even making sense anymore. I'm just going to leave this as it is and maybe come back to it later or just delete it altogether. What a waste....

I was a lover, before this war...

2008-05-17T17:15:30Z

My new goal is to start eating healthier. Yes, I am a workout fanatic; you can always find me running, lifting, or doing abs. However, I have the worst eating habits. For example, last night I had an Eat 'n' Park superburger around 12AM and then I went to sleep not too shortly after. I need to get it together! I remember when I used to weigh 115 pounds a mere 2.5 years ago and I weight around 128 right now. I am 5'8 and in good shape, but I wouldn't mind getting my weight back down to at least 120. As my love for vegetables grows and my time away from Brooks food increases, I feel like this will goal will be within reach.

I miss Johnny. I wish that he wasn't so sick and we could do fun things like go to the Science Center and be nerds or go get sandwiches at Primanti's or go to Ohiopyle and ride bikes!

I work at 2:45 today and I'm not really looking forward to it. Work is easy-peasy, I just hate getting ready. After I workout, I just feel like eating some cheerios and taking a nap. Speaking of working out, Chrissy, KP, Meg, and I ran this morning and then did core + upper body at the Y. It felt good to have someone to run and workout with. Abs are so much easier to do when you have someone to suffer through the pain with. I really want to make it a routine to work on abs at least twice a day:

1) 50 regular crunches
2) 60 second front planks, back planks, side planks
3) 2 reps of 60 second boats
4) 20 supermans and 30 seconds of holding the position after
5) 50 more regular crunches

If I can just do this in the morning and before bed, I think that I will be set! Well, time for a shower. I don't know why I'm so tired when I got over 8 hours of sleep last night (that's another one of my goals).

By the by, anyone wanna buy me these shoes?:

THE FUCKING PENS!

2008-05-14T03:08:54Z

First, I need to say how happy I am about tonight's game. The Pens are now 3-0 in the series and the Flyers and Cumberger still suck tons of dick. Everyone is in love with Crosby and Fleury, but I just discovered a really hot shirtless picture of Ryan Malone. Am I alone in thinking that he's kind of sexy?

Another thing that I'm excited for:

SEX AND THE CITY THE MOVIE!!! Yes, I am a girl and I get excited about Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha. Sorry, but I just can't help it JOEL LANG. The mother and I will be seeing it on May 30th...we are pumped.

In other news, I'm home for the summer and sadly, I don't really have anything to look forward to (aside from filling out more scholarship forms because I lost my fucking grant from PHEAA). I really hope that I can scoop up some more money from another Methodist Church organization or perhaps the Ayn Rand Foundation...I really need to get working on my Atlas Shrugged essay. I'm also working at Macy's in the Heights over the summmer...I really want a MacBook Pro and since I don't have $2,000 sitting around, I need to do something (unfortunately). Today I paper folded shirts for almost two hours. Number one, what a fucking waste. Macy's is supposed to be eco-friendly but they don't think twice about using thousands of sheets of paper just to make the store "look good." Second of all, people are just going to try on the shirts and ruin the displays anyway. Arg, so stupid. But at least I have a job, right?

Baby, I'm an anarchist.

2007-07-07T02:32:07Z

I need to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow. I was supposed to work from 5-close but I had to call off because of the show. I knew that my parents would be pissed about it since they told me that I could do the show if and only if I didn't miss work because of it. Sooo, I told my parents that I switched with someone and now work 12-5. I need to find something to do from 12-5. I'm running at 8 with Chrissy and then again with Tench's friend at some point. I am going to be insanely sore considering I ran 7 miles this evening at 5 o'clock. Chrissy wants to run 8 and Tench's friend wants to run 8. Tomorrow is going to be a 16 mile day. Fuckkkk me. I think I'm just going to nap in the park like a homeless person for the 5 hours that I'm supposed to be at work. Maybe snag some lunch at ENP (by myself? that would be kind of weird). Maybe I'll even bring my paper to the park and do the crosswords with the guy wearing the white hat. This summer SUCKS.

Elizabethtown also sucks. Talk about a Garden State rip-off. Hey Kirsten Dunst, you are not nearly as cute as Natalie Portman, so give it a rest! My mom and I are trying to watch the movie but since I'm typing in this fake journal it's pretty obvious that I'm not paying attention. I do have to say that every time Kirsten Dunst or uhm, "Claire" pretends to take a picture I want to punch her in the face. I should just go to bed because I can already tell that I'm in one of those moods where everything is going to irritate me.

I hope that Johnny has fun in Belize. I hope that I start to get a life. Wanna know what I did today? I woke up at 12, watched trash tv, ran at 5, and went to opening night. Now I'm watching a movie that sucks and trying to justify it by saying that I hate everyone and would rather be by myself than with people I can't stand. Oh wait!!! No, no, no...I'm missing the Harry Potter marathon!

Bye!

Sometimes, New Jersey...

2007-07-05T20:30:47Z

I called you up
to see if maybe we could hang
I told you I was nervous and feeling lonely
I bit my lip
and you were like, "fucking hell yeah."
so then I smiled
I thought of how beautiful the night would be
and I thought maybe we could drive around talking about your town or stay at home
and I could win you over acting cool.
real fucking romance.

stripes and plaids, singles ads

2007-06-15T00:54:39Z

"On the way to discovering what we love,
we will find everything we hate,
everything that blocks our path to what we desire."

So this is it. The thing that I have been looking forward to since 9th grade has finally happened. As much as I don't want to admit it, I will miss a few people. I was very stoic at graduation. Mom said I smiled maybe one time. I would like to think that it was more of a grimace or a smirk, because I really had nothing to be happy about. This year was TERRIBLE.

I didn't go to states my senior year and some chick who ran for ONE FUCKING YEAR beat me in quite a few races and completed my ultimate goal. I stopped being friends with all of the people I could actually stand because they started smoking pot and getting wasted every single weekend. I dreamed about Carnegie Mellon since the beginning of Junior year. Am I going there? No, because it is too fucking expensive and my middle class parents would be crazy to try to afford it.

Don't get me wrong; I am not bitter. I am thankful for all of the good things that are going on. I've been running really fast lately, I'm attending Allegheny College in the fall, I got a bunch of scholarships and my parents won't really have to pay that much for my post-secondary school education. Just...whatever. I feel like reflecting and that's what I'm going to do, dammit.

I have the worst luck with guys. I make terrible decisions and then I look back on them and can't sleep. I've been listening to the same terrible rap song for the past three days because it came on in the car after I madeout with some guy that I obviously didn't have any emotional connection to, but man...I am so lonely. I really am and I don't know what to do about it. Lately, it's just been consuming me. I run way more than I should (I know, I know..shutup) and I can't concentrate on anything. I just feel like being alone all of the time. I always go for guys that I know are wrong for me. I know what they're like but in my head I picture them being everything that I want. It's just...ugh. I need to stop doing that.

Well Livejournal, you're not real and I am in the mood to write real things, so ciao for now. I guess I'll see you the next time that I am absolutely bored out of my skull.

We get high in backseats of cars.

2007-04-13T04:05:27Z

Well, I guess I have nothing better to do...

LAST PERSON WHO:
1. Slept in your bed - Me
3. Made you cry - All I did today was cry, thanks to my parents.
4. You shared a drink with - Ahh...I reluctantly shared my Mountain Blast Powerade with Shane after gym. Powerade actually sucks (Gatorade is 1000x better) but school vending machines have next to nothing in them and I was desperate.
5. Went to the movies with - Ahhh, I wish I could remember the last movie I saw in theaters. Whatever it was, I probably went with Jon.
6. Went to a mall with - I go to the mall alone quite a bit. It's pretty pathetic. However, I think the last time I was there I was with my mom & Aunt Shelly.
7. Yelled at you - I can't remember the last time anyone actually "yelled" at me. My parents don't yell, they just constantly nag about stupid things that don't matter.
8. Sent you an email - Leslie

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I love you" and meant it - I've said it & meant it to my parents & gram only.
2. Gotten in a fight with your pet - I'm not allowed to have pets! I used to have a beagle dog named Daffodil. I loved her, but apparently, it didn't show because I forgot to feed her all the time. My parents sent her to a farm...
3. Been to California - Sadly, no.
4. Been to Hawaii - ...again
5. Been to Mexico - No, but I was actually thinking that it would be a fun senior trip to go down to the Texas/Mexican border and watch all of the crazy immigrants try to infiltrate the country. Seriously, fun times.
6. Been to China - No, but maybe one of my CMU friends will take me home with her over winter break or something. That would be swell.
7. Been to Canada - Aboot a handful of times, eh.
8. Danced naked - If you haven't, I'm sorry.
9. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day - No, my dreams are always too fucked up to actually turn into reality.
10. Wished you were the opposite sex - I always wanted to be able to piss in a bottle, a la Will Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction. Sometimes, I'm just too lazy to get up and use the facilities and bottles are just really convenient.
11. Had an imaginary friend - No, but I should have when I was younger. Anything would have been better than being friends with Rachel Miller.

OTHER:
1. What book are you reading now? - Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
2. Worst feeling in the world - Disappointment
3. Future son's name - Owen or Jack
4. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? - No
5. Whats under your bed? - My XC bag and printer
6. Favorite sport to watch - NCAA basketball
7. Siblings - CJ
8. Location - Home
9. College Plans - CMU, I hope
10. Piercing/Tattoos - 2 in each ear

IN AND AROUND:
1. CD Player - Gimme Fiction by Spoon is in my car.
2. DVD player or VCR - Glengarry Glen Ross
3. Pocket - Nothing because I'm wearing pajama pants.
4. Laundry basket - Running clothes, underwear and the like.
5. Mouth - Nothing

EXTRA STUFF:
1. Have you done drugs? - Ask the minister! haha
2. Who was your first best friend? - Rachel Miller
3. What are you most scared of? - Physical pain
4. What clothes do you sleep in? - Any one of my many race t-shirts and pajama pants from VS or shorts of some kind.
5. Where do you want to be married? - I could care less.
6. Who do you really hate? - Everyone
7. Do you drive? - You know it.
8. Do you have a job? - I tried to tell my parents that being a kid was my job. They told me I was wrong. Isn't that unfair?
10. Do you like being around people? - It depends on what people we're talking about.
11. Are you for world peace? - I'm a hippie at heart.

STUFF:
1. Do you have a kind of person you always go after? - Yeah, apparently the ones that always fuck me over. I have the worst luck with relationships so I'm just going to quit trying.
2. Want something you don't have right now? - YES. Oh God, yes.
3. Are you lonely right now? - No, just tired & sore.
4. Song thats stuck in your head a lot - That's the Way We Get By - Spoon
5. Do you want to be married? - Maybe
6. Do you want kids? - 2-3 or maybe none. I don't even want to think about kids until I'm old.

FAVORITE:
1. Room in house - My room
2. Band - Bloc Party, Spoon, Modest Mouse, Minus the Bear
3. Color - Green
4. Perfume of cologne - Oxygene by Lanvin or Hypnotic Poison by Christian Dior
5. Month - October

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU:
1. Cried - Of course! This week has just been swell.
2. Bought something - Powerade & a latte
3. Gotten Sick - No
4. Sang - Constantly
5. Told someone you loved them - Maybe parents
6. Met someone new - Ehh...no?
7. Missed someone - I guess
8. Hugged someone - No
9. Kissed someone - No

R.I.P Kurt Vonnegut

I was a lover before this war.

2007-04-06T01:39:19Z

Did I mention that I got 100% on my Rube Goldberg? Wellll, I did (thanks to Jon). My team for the Econ Challenge also kicked ass and is going to states on Wednesday. I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, so I've been doing nothing but reading and studying my econ. We're going to do awseome :)

Speaking of wisdom teeth, I look like a fucking chipmunk and I've been eating nothing but broth and oatmeal. I just want a hamburger or maybe some steak. This sucks....

CMU '11!!! I am going to have tons of Asian friends.

Wilpula is the biggest dick alive. He thinks that I'm going to write him a huge, elaborate research paper when I have 4 AP tests to study for and 6+ finals.

Andy Warhol fashion show = May 4th.
Be there or be square!

And...that's about it. Seeya later, friends.